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Muppet News Flash
Muppet News Flash segments were a regular feature of The Muppet Show for all five seasons. The segments starred The Newsman, a breathlessly emphatic anchorman. There were slight changes made to the News Flash segments after the first season. In the first year, the segments often featured interviews with a strange person played by the episode's guest star. Starting with the second year, the Newsman would rush on to the scene, announcing an unusual story -- and he would then fall victim to the subject of the news story in some way. The Newsman himself also changed during the first season, adding glasses to his costume. Individual Sketches *'Hotline' :The Newsman picks up the phone for a hotline. Seen in Episode 102: Connie Stevens. :(Note: In his first appearance, the Newsman wears his glasses. This was actually taped later in the season. This sketch is one of only two first season News Flash sketches in which the Newsman was the victim.) *'Boffo the Human Cannonball' :The Newsman reports the demise of Boffo the Human Cannonball. Seen in Episode 103: Joel Grey. :(Note: First time the Newsman does not wear glasses and sounds different.) *'City Held Hostage' :A city is held hostage by a retired bus driver. Seen in Episode 103: Joel Grey. *'Kidnapped Ocean' :The Atlantic Ocean has been kidnapped! Seen in Episode 104: Ruth Buzzi. *'Dancing Chicken' :The Newsman reports on a dancing chicken. Seen in Episode 105: Rita Moreno. *'There Is No News Tonight!' :The Newsman reports that there is no news tonight. Originally seen in Episode 105: Rita Moreno. The same sketch was used again in Episode 116: Avery Schreiber. *'Flying Saucer Spotted' :The Newsman interviews a gas station attendant (played by Jim Nabors) who spotted a flying saucer. Seen in Episode 106: Jim Nabors. :(Note: The Newsman is starting to evolve; while he doesn't yet have glasses, his voice becomes more like the one we know today.) *'An Amazing Story' :The Newsman just got an incredible story that's reported by a man (played by Paul Williams) who claims that the phone rang but there was nobody on the other end of the line. Seen in Episode 108: Paul Williams. *'Boxer vs. Himself' :An undefeated boxer (played by Harvey Korman) has a match against himself. Seen in Episode 110: Harvey Korman. *'Seaweed Diet' :A woman (played by Lena Horne) is on a seaweed diet. Seen in Episode 111: Lena Horne. *'The Cure For the Common Cold' :The Newsman interviews a doctor (played by Peter Ustinov) who thinks he has found the cure for the common cold. Seen in Episode 112: Peter Ustinov. *'The World Record For Jumping the Most Jumps' :The Newsman interviews a woman (played by Sandy Duncan) who is trying to break a world record for the most jumps in a row. Her motivation? She's standing on a hot plate. Seen in Episode 114: Sandy Duncan. *'Winged Travel' :A woman (played by Phyllis Diller) has built herself a pair of wings and flown. She accomplished this by buying feathers, making wings for herself and then buying a plane ticket. Seen in Episode 118: Phyllis Diller. *'Furniture Monsters' :The Newsman reports that furniture from all over the world has been turning into monsters. While he reports this, a man who is watching the news on TV is being attacked by his furniture. Seen in Episode 119: Vincent Price. :(Note: This is the only time that a Muppet has been seen watching the news, or The Muppet Show for that matter, on a television set) *'Blank Paper' :Both sides of the Newsman's paper is blank. *'The Woman Who Ate a Tractor' :A woman (played by Twiggy) has eaten an entire tractor, medium rare. Seen in Episode 121: Twiggy. *'The World's Longest Sentence' :The Newsman can't get a word in edgewise when he tries to interview a woman who is trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for saying the longest spoken sentence. Seen in Episode 123: Kaye Ballard. *'News Flash' :The paper suddenly catches fire. Seen in Episode 205: Judy Collins. *'On Stage Without Pants' :The news report states that the Newsman is on stage without wearing any pants. Seen in Episode 207: Edgar Bergen. *'Exploding News Reporters' :There are reports that television news reporters are blowing up. Seen in Episode 209: Madeline Kahn. *'Mallarditis' :The Newsman's head turns into a duck's head. Seen in Episode 215: Lou Rawls. *'Ten Thousand Ping Pong Balls and One Bowling Ball' :An airplane has been forced to drop some of its luggage. Seen in Episode 217: Julie Andrews. *'Newspig' :The Newsman is replaced by a pig. Seen in Episode 224: Cloris Leachman. *'The Glue Crisis Has Been Solved' :The Newsman reports that the glue crisis has been solved, but he gets glued to his chair. Seen in Episode 304: Gilda Radner. :(Note: One of the few times, if not the only time, that the Newsman had a chair) *'Hospital Beds Made From Pop-Up Toaster Parts' :A report from Muppet Labs regarding the hospital bed used in the Coconut production number. Seen in Episode 410: Kenny Rogers. *'National Sheep Dog Trials' :The Sheep Dogs have been found not guilty. Seen in Episode 417: Star Wars. *'The Swinetrek Has Landed' :The Swinetrek has made a soft landing on a distant planet while Venus is about to make a hard landing on the Muppet newsroom. Seen in Episode 417: Star Wars. *'Killer Lamb' :A killer lamb has escaped from a zoo and into the Muppet newsroom. Seen in Episode 418: Christopher Reeve. *'Rezal-Evad-Gib' :A crocodile god, Reval-Evad-Gib, will attack anybody who reads its name. Seen in Episode 419: Lynda Carter. :(Note: "Rezal-Evad-Gib" is "Big Dave Lazer" spelled backwards. David Lazer was the producer of the Muppet Show.) *'Cheese' :The Newsman gives a report on cheese. Seen in Episode 422: Andy Williams. *'The Meaning of Life' :The meaning and purpose of life has been revealed, but the Newsman can't find the rest of his report papers. Seen in Episode 501: Gene Kelly. *'Gold Security Guard' :A security guard is guarding a stack of gold bars and will hurt anyone who touches them. Seen in Episode 504: Shirley Bassey. *'Overdue Library Books' :The local library will forgive all fines for any library books that get returned within the next three seconds. Seen as part of the UK Spot in Episode 511: Paul Simon. *'Beef Falls Dramatically' :A cow falls on The Newsman. Seen in Episode 512: Melissa Manchester. *'Unidentified Flying Object' :Following the previous sketch, The Swedish Chef falls on The Newsman. Seen in Episode 523: Linda Ronstadt. *'Mackerel King' :The Newsman reports that security at Muppet News is so good that rumors cannot be reported to Muppet News. The Newsman then reports that a yellow and black striped mackerel has been elected king. The Newsman doesn't believe it until he meets the king. Seen in Episode 524: Roger Moore. Category:Muppet Show Sketches